The former interim prime minister of Iraq and his bodyguards were attacked when they left a shrine in Najaf, Iraq yesterday. The crowd reportedly tried to assassinate him using guns, knives, and even, yes, footwear. No wonder we have to remove our shoes when going through security at the airport.

Researchers at the University of Arkansas have developed a way to convert chicken fat into fuel. Seriously. They say not only will a car run on it, but run better because Chicken Fat Supreme with Oy-101 will “burn better, create less particulate matter and actually lubricate and clean things like cylinders, pistons and fuel lines.” Of course it could also mean having to decide whether to drive to grandma’s for Hanukkah or make chopped liver.

A former fingernail designer in Austria has been charged with insurance fraud for deliberately putting his hands under a passing train and cutting off a thumb, index finger, and pinky so he could collect on a $1.17 million policy he took out a few months earlier. Baffled police are still trying to figure out what the hell a fingernail designer is.