Archive for October 2011

All Tricks, No Treat

October 26th, 2011 — 11:08am

Connecticut State Representative Tim Larson is proposing that the state declare the last Saturday in October as Halloween since it would make life easier for parents and safer for trick-or-treaters to always have it on the weekend. What a dumb idea! Anyone with a lick of sense knows it should be moved to the last Monday of October so we can have another three-day weekend.

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What, No Spinners?

October 25th, 2011 — 10:28am

Tired of showing up in your Ferrari and pulling up next to someone who’s driving the exact same car? Heck, if you wanted to look like everyone else you’d shop at Target, fer Christ’s sake! Luckily Ferrari understands and is letting you personalize your next car. Little touches like cashmere-covered seats or a gold-colored exterior will make sure your $410,000 620-horsepower 599 GTB is uniquely yours. You’d better hurry, though, the One-Percenter, or Pre-Occupied With Wall Street, program is limited to 7,000 cars per year!

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There Is No ‘G’ in Scrabble

October 19th, 2011 — 2:10pm

It was the last round draw at the World Scrabble Championships in Warsaw, Poland, and the two finalists noticed something odd–there should have been another “G” but it was missin_. The referee looked on the table, under the table, and finally asked both players to turn their pockets inside out to make sure the missin_ tile wasn’t there. Not findin_ it anywhere, and Vanna White not being handy so they could buy a “G”, the referee found another and put it in the ba_. OM_!

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Feeling Claustrophobic?

October 17th, 2011 — 12:29pm

According to the United Nations Population Fund, the world’s population will hit 7 billion people on October 31, and by August 2013 each of them will have their own reality TV show.

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Just Say No To Calories

October 14th, 2011 — 1:57pm

Health Secretary Andrew Lansley says too many Britains are overweight and knows how they should take care of it. He says they should eat less and be “more honest” about what they eat and drink. He also suggested that fewer people would drown if they’d quit going swimming, people wouldn’t fall down the stairs if they moved into one-story houses, and scabs heal faster if you don’t pick them.

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Apple, It’s The New Real Thing

October 13th, 2011 — 10:14am

According to  the European Brand Institute, Apple has replaced Coca-Cola as the #1 global brand. Coca-Cola’s board of directors has asked the CEO if he wouldn’t mind dying so they can get on the cover of Time, Newsweek, BusinessWeek, and every newspaper in the world and boost their global image.

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I Once Was Lost, But Now I’m Found….

October 12th, 2011 — 11:05am

Like many people this time of the year, a family went on an outing to the corn maze at Connors Farm in Danvers, Massachusetts. Like a lot of families, they got lost in the 7-acre maze. Unlike the rest of those families, they panicked when it started getting dark and called 911. An officer and K-9 unit went out to the farm, found the family, and hopefully escorted them home. While singing A-maze-ing Grace I suspect.

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Is It For Slobs Or Snobs?

October 5th, 2011 — 8:55am

To help celebrate their 40th anniversary, Starbucks asked designer Alexander Wang to create a limited edition T-shirt. The white T-shirt has a large fake coffee stain on it with the Starbucks’ woman hidden in the stain. You can pick one up at Nordstrom’s or Starbucks for only $85. Or you can buy a 2-pack of Hanes T-shirts at Target for $13.99, a cup of coffee at Dunkin’ Donuts for $1.49, and make your own.

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