A study in the journal Science claims that mice have feelings. Yes, even male mice. They discovered this when they gave a mouse a stomach ache, then observed its family, friends, and cagemates. It turns out mice feel other mice’s pain and were more upset when they saw a familiar mouse suffering than when they saw a stranger in pain. So please, don’t make fun of their pink eyes, don’t sing Hickory Dickory Dock in front of them, and whatever you do, no Tom and Jerry cartoons if they’re in the room. Poor guys.

1. A German scientist used an electron beam to engrave the world’s smallest soccer field on a piece of acrylic. It’s so tiny 20,000 of them could fit on the tip of a human hair.

2. Graduate students at the University of Texas used an ion beam to create an American flag so small 10 of them could fit on a human hair, which is obviously the official measure of tinyness.

3. Takeru Kobayashi won his sixth hotdog eating title at Coney Island yesterday, downing 53-3/4 hotdogs in 12 minutes. His stomach may be big, but his intelligence is in question.

An Iraqi legislator says Abu Musab al-Zarqawi’s cell phone, which miraculously survived the two 500-lb pounds the U.S. dropped on it, contained the phone numbers of several senior Iraqi officials. Other phone numbers stored in it included Ahmed’s Ammunition and Donuts, the Baghdad Domino’s Pizza, Osama bin Laden’s voicemail, and Dial-an-Imam. The rest of the numbers seemed to be identical to those found when Paris Hilton’s phone was hacked into last year.