In spite of UN inspectors and the Iraq Survey Group declaring that Iraq had dismantled its chemical, biological and nuclear arms programs in 1991, 50% of the Americans recently polled said they believe Iraq had WMDs when the U.S. invaded in 2003, up from the 36% who believed it last year. The study also found that 42% believe the harder you work the more money you’ll make, 72% believe in the Easter Bunny, and 68% think the 911 WTC attack occurred on September 11th.

During a Defense Department news briefing on Tuesday, Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld said about Iraq: “It seems to me that it is not a classic civil war at this stage. It certainly isn’t like our Civil War.” He’s got a point. There’s no slavery involved, neither side is wearing blue or gray uniforms, and they live in the same neighborhoods, not north or south of each other. Next question!

Three years after renaming french fries “Freedom Fries” because they were upset at France for not backing the war with Iraq, the cafeteria of the House of Representatives has gone back to the original name. However, in protest over the fighting in the Middle East, they’re now referring to orange juice as “Orange non-Christians.”

A survey by Oxygen Network found that 77 percent of women would prefer a new plasma television over a diamond solitaire necklace, with 56 percent opting for the TV instead of a weekend vacation in Florida. Heck, 86 percent said they’d rather have a new digital video camera than a pair of designer shoes! Wow, Sony beat out Manolo Blahnik. Carrie Bradshaw must be turning over in her syndicated grave.

A British scientist studied data from 178 countries and 100 studies and deduced that Denmark is the happiest country, while Burundi is the unhappiest. Meanwhile, a study released in the Archives of General Psychiatry found that, Santa Claus, Louis Anderson and Kirstie Alley notwithstanding, fat people are not, in fact, jolly. They’re depressed. Just be grateful you’re not a fat person in Burundi. Talk about being miserable.