A Philadelphia councilman wants the city to look into installing rubber sidewalks. He says they won’t crack, will last longer than concrete, and would reduce the number of slip-and-fall accidents and the lawsuits that result from them. If the city goes for this idea they should look into an idea I had many years ago: rubber streets and concrete tires. The streets would expand and contract with the weather, eliminating potholes, constant repair work, and wear and tear on cars. Tires would last longer because they couldn’t go flat. And should you actually get a chipped tire, you’d simply whip out some spackling and the next morning you’re good to go. Next problem!

Russia’s Emergency Ministry is flying a chemical laboratory to the Omsk region in southern Siberia to figure out what caused about a 600 square mile area to be covered in oily yellow and orange snow. Until they know what caused it, authorities are recommending that the 27,000 residents heed Frank Zappa’s advice: “Don’t eat the yellow snow.”

It’s not easy being French. There’s the grueling 35-hour work week, the mandated rudeness classes, and now it’s getting tough to find a place to enjoy a Gauloises. As of today you can’t smoke in workplaces, schools, airports, hospitals, and other “closed and covered” public places in France. Next year the ban will extend to *gasp* cafes and restaurants. No wonder the country’s health minister is looking into whether workers should be allowed to take a nap while at work. The state-run health insurance provider and the Health Ministry both think it’s a good idea, but for now businesses want to sleep on it before making up their minds.