Having trouble finding new bodies to fill the three yoga studios that exist on every block in most towns, instructors have turned to the originator of the downward dog. That’s right, dogs. Brenda Bryan is teaching doggie yoga classes at the Seattle/King County Humane Society in Bellevue, Washington. Fair enough, but if dogs can adopt our practices, why can’t we adapt some of theirs? From now on I’m going to sleep 20 hours a day, whimper until I get my belly scratched, hump legs at will, and lick my privates whenever I want without feeling like I’m showing off.

According to an AP story about the weekend’s Houston Open golf tournament: “The players went off in threesomes in the early afternoon and were allowed to lift, clean and place their balls in the soggy fairways.” Maybe there’s more to this game than I thought.