David Letterman returned to the air Wednesday by channeling Raymond Burr. The show featured a monologue, Robin Williams, and Letterman’s full, gray beard, which he says he might shave on Monday. Then again, he might move the show to San Francisco, gain a couple hundred pounds, sit behind the desk in a wheel chair, and surround himself with three young upcoming hosts who do all the work.

The Iowa caucuses are today, followed in two days by the Wisconsin caucuses no one’s heard of, the New Hampshire primary, etc, etc, et cetera. As of yesterday, 30% percent of Iowa Democrats and half of the Republicans say they’re still undecided about who to vote for. How to choose…how to choose…. Platform? Morals? Religion? How they look naked? Why not? Last month an Australian magazine surveyed voters about the candidates for prime minister and found that twice as many people wanted to see 50-year-old Kevin Rudd naked than 68-year-old John Howard. Of course a full 50% didn’t want to see either one sans clothes. Rudd won the election. In case you want to use this method, at the left is a little quiz to see how well you know — or fantasize about — the candidates.

We’re always told we should follow our interests when choosing a career, which is why it’s nice to hear that over 7,000 people from more than 30 countries applied for the job as CBO of the Four Points hotel chain. CBO, of course, is Chief Beer Officer, and the part-time job entails visiting breweries, beer festivals, and bars to select the beers served at the hotels. It may not be as easy as CBT (Chief Bed Tester), nor as likely to make you go on a diet as CFS (Chief Food Sampler), but it’s a pretty heady job to put on your resume. *hic*