In continuing news from PopeFest 2013, soon-to-be Pope Emeritus Benedict XVI told a large gathering in St. Peter’s Square that during his nearly 8 years as Pope, sometimes “the Lord seemed to sleep.” And snore. Interesting news but you don’t see god retiring because of it.

It’s official. After Pope Benedict steps down Thursday he’ll be addressed as “His Holiness” and have the official name and title “His Holiness Benedict XVI, Roman pontiff emeritus.” Beats going back to Joe Ratzinger. He’ll still wear his white robes, though without the spiffy papal adornments, but not his beloved red shoes. The word is he’ll wear brown ones that “he spotted and liked in Mexico.” Vatican staffers are planning a going away party for him at Noctuam Sonus — he loves their chicken wings — where he’ll be given a gold watch. With Roman numerals, of course.

In the press room after having won a Best Actress Oscar for Les Miserables, Anne Hathaway told reporters about the special strategy she uses when faced with criticism. “The miracle of the universe is that, as far as they know, there is 51% matter versus 49% anti-matter. Things tip in the scale of the positive and so that is what I focus on,” she said. Apparently she’s part of the remaining 2%, which is known as Doesn’t Matter.

If you thought Freddy vs. Jason was bad, at least you can take solace in the fact that it was a movie. Imagine being in India and having to vote in the election of Hitler vs. Frankenstein. It happened. In fact, Adolf Hitler was elected to a fourth term in the state assembly in the small state of Meghalaya, India. Others running against him included —True Fact Alert! — Frankenstein Momin, Billykid Sangma, Jhim Carter Sangma, and Field Marshal Mawphniang. Kind of makes you long for Mr. Smith Goes to Washington.

According to the headline of an NPR story, “One In Three Fish Sold At Restaurants And Grocery Stores Is Mislabeled.” So be careful and examine your packages of hot dogs really well.

Like many people, Marguerite Joseph of Grosse Pointe Shores, Michigan, lies about her age online. The difference is it’s not her fault. When Joseph signed up for Facebook two years ago the website wouldn’t let her input her birth year as 1908 and kept changing it to 1928. So for the past two years the 104-year-old is listed on her Facebook profile as being only 99. Her granddaughter says it’s “a glitch in the system.” Facebook has had no comment. Neither has Match.com or eHarmony, who both say if they published her correct age she’d be the first person on their sites to ever do so.

Wayne Lapierre, the head of the National Rifle Association, said in a speech yesterday that he was disappointed — to say the least — that President Obama didn’t mention school security in his State of the Union speech, reiterating that he thinks there should be armed guards in schools. He gave the speech at the National Wild Turkey Federation convention in Nashville, but didn’t specify whether the name of the organization reflected the demeanor of its members or their favorite beverage.