Part I – Anna Ayala, the woman who claimed to have thrown up when she found part of a human finger in her Wendy’s chili last month has been arrested and charged with attempted grand theft.

Part II – Armin Meiwes, the German who met a man on the Internet, hooked up in person, then cut off, cooked, and ate the man’s penis, is being retried because the judge says the eight-and-a-half-year sentence isn’t long enough. That’s the sentence that isn’t long enough, smartypants.

Part III – The soup chef who inspired the famous Seinfeld episode about the Soup Nazi is putting out a line of soups. Tagged with the boring name “Soup Man,” the heat-n-serve soups come in a pouch. Mmmmmm…..just squeeze and eat! Flavors include turkey chili, jambalaya, and seafood bisque. Spicy chili finger and German-style penis varieties coming soon.