We Have to Hold Hands, We Only Have Four Fingers

First several Christian “family values” groups decided that the squishy SpongeBob SquarePants is gay because he sometimes holds hands with his pals Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy. C’mon now, even his name says he’s square. Then the new Education Secretary (bonus points if you know his or her name!) coerced PBS into not distributing an episode of the series Postcards From Buster because the animated bunny went to Vermont and ran into two highly animated — though not in the cartoon sense — lesbian couples. Now Stan Lee, the man who created Spiderman and the Hulk, says he’s going to animate Ringo Starr by turning him into “an evil-battling, Earth-saving though reluctant superhero with a great sense of rhythm.” A great sense of rhythm, huh? *wink* wink* Tinky Winky and Barney must be rolling over in their Pottery Barn-furnished love nest.

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