I’m Dead, I Don’t Want Your Calls, Now Here’s a Dollar

I’ve finally found a way telemarketers can make my life easier. For years whenever one would call and ask for me I’d say I died. Okay, actually I said, “He died.” Hey, no reason arousing suspicion. Now, thanks to the Direct Marketing Association’s new Deceased Do-Not-Contact list, I can save what could be my last breaths. I simply sign up, tell them I’m dead, and eat dinner in peace. Sure it costs $1, but it’s worth it.

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