I don’t know what’s up at the University of Cardiff (Wales), but they’re working hard to formulate everything. First they mathematically calculated that January 23 is the most depressing day of the year. (If you want to work this out at home, it’s: Weather plus debt to monthly salary ratio times days since Christmas and broken New Year’s resolutions, all divided by low motivation and the need to make changes.) Then they created a formula, just in time for Valentine’s Day, that lets you calculate your sexiest time of the day: AL / T + 10 x AG / SF x G = TOTAL / 60. It takes into account your gender, the amount of alcohol consumed in a week, the number of sex sessions, and the preferred time of day for sex, though it seems the last factor is your answer without even having to remember how your calculator works. For online help in figuring this out, check the Mates condom web site or contact your high school math teacher.