A man walked into a Giant Eagle Get-Go convenience store in McKeesport, PA, and asked the clerk if she would use the microwave oven to warm up something he had wrapped in a paper towel. When a strange odor started coming from the oven, the clerk opened the door and what appeared to be a severed human penis fell out of the towel. The man ran from the store, and since he had no trouble running, police suspect the warmed up wiener wasn’t his.

(UPDATE: It turns out the “penis” was actually a prosthetic device used to cheat on drug tests and the man was warming it so urine inside — his — would pass the temperature test when his girlfriend took a drug test. Yes, his girlfriend was going to use the fake penis. It’s hard to say whether this makes the tale better or wierder.)