Yesterday President Bush stepped up to a microphone in Charlotte, North Carolina and said he was pleased that Republicans and Democrats were working together to create a comprehensive energy bill. Whoops! Wrong bill. “Let me start over,” he said. “I’m pleased that Republicans and Democrats in the United States Senate are working together to get a comprehensive immigration bill.” Energy…immigration…hey, they both start with a “y,” don’t they?
As if Peeps weren’t disgusting enough in their native marshmallow, last year the company that manufactures them, Just Born, released yellow ones covered in milk chocolate. This year you pink Peepers will be happy to know that your fave is also available covered in milk chocolate…with crisped rice! Take that, you yellow lovers. Now all you need to do is wait for next summer so you can get them battered and fried at a state fair near you. Yum!
A study published in the April 2006 issue of the Journal of Paleolimnology says rare environmental conditions could have caused a 25-degree drop in temperature, creating hard-to-see ice on the Sea of Galilee that a person — say someone like Jesus — could have walked on. This means the worse global warming gets, the less the chance Jesus can come back and walk on water again. I wonder how that news will affect the Rapture Index.
According to NPR, surgeons have figured out how to grow a bladder outside the body. Now if they can figure out how to get it to function without transplanting it, it could mean the end of urinals, long lines in the Ladies’ Room at baseball games, and having to pull over every half hour during family road trips.
As if your Mom dragging you to the husky department to buy jeans isn’t embarrassing enough, now it turns out that one of every four kids in America between the ages of 2 and 5 are overweight and should be using a husky car seat. Honestly. One woman who bought a $250 Britax “Husky” seat says, “It’s like a La-Z-Boy recliner. It was a little difficult getting it in the back seat but my daughter loves it.” She especially loves the built-in milk dispenser, remote holder, Cheez Doodles-proof arm rests, DVD player, and PlayStation.
Just on time for Passover comes news about a kosher cell phone on sale in Israel. Made by a subsidiary of Motorola, the phones carry the official kosher seal of approval because there’s no text messaging, no Internet access, no video, no camera, and more than 10,000 numbers for phone sex, dating services and other services are blocked. Yes, all it does is make and receive phone calls. It goes great with matzoh, you can talk on it while eating meat or fish, and it’s preprogrammed with the phone number of the nearest kosher deli.
