So many turkeys, so little time. First, George Bush followed tradition and pardoned two turkeys so they could be flown to Disneyland to be grand marshals in a parade. At least he’s manged to save two lives. Then British historian and killjoy Godfrey Hodgson claims the Pilgrims — who he reminds us didn’t call themselves Pilgrims — didn’t eat turkey on that first Thanksgiving. Thanks god they had KFC. Making up for the Pilgrims’ menu loss, Patrick Bertoletti won the annual turkey-eating contest at Artie’s Deli by eating 4.8 pounds of turkey in 12 minutes. Wow, pigs eating turkeys. Who woulda thunk it? And next week the Pope is going to Turkey but will be eating crow over his not-so-complimentary Muslim comments a while back. Gobble Freakin’ Gobble, everyone.

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