Putting The Oral In Oral Roberts

It’s official — one male prostitute doesn’t make you gay. After three weeks of intensive counseling, the errant Rev. Ted Haggard has been declared “completely heterosexual” because, in the words of one of the ministers in charge, “It wasn’t a constant thing.” But just to be safe they recommended Haggard and his wife move out of town and go into secular work. After all, we don’t want your occasional kind around these parts.

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