Sir Isaac Nostradamus

Some 300-year-old manuscripts by Sir Isaac Newton that have never been seen by the public are going on display in Jerusalem. They show that the man who formulated the law of gravity and the three laws of motion used the Book of Daniel to calculate the date for the apocalypse — which he said would occur no earlier than 2060 — detailed the dimensions of the ancient temple in Jerusalem, and even predicted that the Jews would return to the Holy Land before the world ends. He also calculated when hell would freeze over, when pigs would fly, why this night is different from all other nights, and what weekends were really made for. Unfortunately he blew that one. He thought weekends were made for Amstel Light.

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