“Welcome aboard Vatican Airlines. This is your pilot speaking. We’ll be cruising at heavenly altitudes. Please sit back, relax, and remember, God is my copilot.”

The Vatican launched a new charter service that will fly pilgrims to holy sites, including the shrine of Fatima in Portugal and Mount Sinai in Egypt. The first trip was to Lourdes, where passengers stocked up on small plastic bottles of holy water. Unfortunately airport security at Tarbes-Lourdes airport wouldn’t let them take the bottles on board. After all, rules are rules, and holy water is a liquid. Apparently other religious items are okay, even though you could strangle a flight attendant with your rosary, stab a pilot with your cross, or beat the guy in front of you who leans his seat all the way back and crushes your laptop with a Bible.