Researchers mapping the genome of the pinot noir grape have discovered that it has about 30,000 genes in its DNA, which is 5,000-10,000 more than us supposedly highly developed humans have. Odd since grapes all look alike, don’t have opposable thumbs—or any thumbs for that matter, and are at least 500 billion years from being able to walk upright. On the other hand, we can’t have a top note of wet dog, a bouquet of cigar box, or overtones of cat pee. Well, unless we’ve been eating asparagus.

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