You think cell phones are ubiquitous? You haven’t seen anything yet. The U.N. telecoms agency says that sometime this year we’ll hit a point that more people in the world have cell phones than don’t have them. Just think about the number of conversations that will be going on while grocery shopping, driving, and eating in a restaurant. But there’s good news. Researchers at the Cleveland Clinic found that the more time men spend on their cell phones each day, the lower their sperm count and the greater their percentage of abnormal sperm. So the more we use our cell phones, the better chance we have of fighting overpopulation and reaching zero population growth. Go ahead, call everyone you know and tell them about it. Now.