The Dog Ate My Evidence

Over the weekend a man in Fresno County, California, broke into a house, rubbed one sleeping man with spices, hit another with “an 8-inch sausage,” then stole their money. He was caught in a nearby field wearing only a T-shirt, boxer shorts and socks, but not before he tossed the sausage away where it was eaten by a dog. Don’t be surprised if his lawyers use the Johnsonville Brat defense, otherwise known as habeus sausageus.

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