According to the Korean Central News Agency, the North Korean government has come up with a “Super Drink” made from 60 “microelements” extracted from over 30 species of plants that they say will add brain cells, protect the skin from wrinkles, and make Jamba Juice extremely jealous. Apparently it’s not being issued to government officials yet since a story in the New York Times reports that in order to get people ready for the appointment of ailing leader Kim Jong-il’s successor, the government’s been releasing songs and poems praising Kim’s youngest son, Kim Jong-un. The younger Kim needs some recognition since there are no authenticated photographs of him, no one knows how old he actually is, and none of the laudatory songs have been sung on American Idol. Yet. The South Carolina state legislature is watching closely. If the poetry slam succession goes well they may force future candidates for state office to campaign in haiku.