Even Paranoid Candidates Have Real Enemies

Dan Maes, the Republican candidate for governor of Colorado, says Denver Mayor John Hickenlooper’s initiative to provide 400 bicycles for rent around Denver is a “very well-disguised” plot perpetrated by the United Nations that “could threaten our personal freedoms.” He recommends that his followers wear aluminum foil helmets while campaigning so the World Bank won’t be able to monitor their brainwaves and steal their bike lock combinations to sell to the U.N.

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