I Can Keep It In My Pants, My Pocket, Or My Office

Art restorers in Italy have their smocks in a knot over Premier Silvio Berlusconi’s having  had broken body parts replaced on two ancient marble statues in his office. Venus received a new hand, while Mars got a new penis. The culture ministry defends the statuary enhancements, pointing out that the body parts are attached by magnets so they can be easily removed without any damage. If only Berlusconi had a body part like Mars he wouldn’t be in half the trouble he’s in.

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