Crouching Crackhead Hidden Agenda

CBS has cancelled Charlie Sheen’s hit sitcom Two and a Half Men after hearing the actor on a radio program calling his boss, executive producer Chuck Lorre, “a clown,” saying he “violently hate[s]” him, then sending a letter to TMZ declaring that, “Clearly I have defeated this earthworm with my words – imagine what I would have done with my fire breathing fists.” The network has, however, offered to let him star in a new show, Two and a Half Marbles Left, which will costar Mel Gibson, Lindsay Lohan, and Crispin Glover.

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