Just in time for the 10th anniversary of the September 11th attack on the World Trade Center, a Long Island winery has released two commemorative bottles of wine: 9/11 Memorial Merlot and 9/11 Memorial Chardonnay. Lieb Family Cellars says it will donate all monies not spent on making the wine, which they estimate will be about 10% of the appropriate $19.11 price tag, to the National September 11 Memorial and Museum. Critics abound. Councilman Peter Vallone Jr. of Queens asked, “What’s next? A 9/11 pastrami sandwich?” Hey, it’s not like the bottles are shaped like the Twin Towers, the wines have a smokey top note, or they made one called 9/11 Memorial Pinot Noir Day in History.

A study done at the  School of Population Health at the University of Queensland, Australia, found that if you’re over 25, the lack of activity involved in watching an hour of TV can shorten your life by 22 minutes, which incidentally is the same life-shortening effect of smoking two cigarettes. So if the average American watches five hours of TV per day, they’re shortening their life by 110 minutes–or nearly 2 hours–every day. This comes to 12.8 hours a week, 55 hours a month, or 27.9 days off your life every year just so you can watch The Real Jersey Shore Housewives of American Idol. Double that if you smoke two cigarettes per hour while watching TV. And no, watching P90X infomercials doesn’t cut the life loss by 3 minutes per hour as rumored.

Zabar’s, a well-known upscale deli in New York City, has been serving lobster salad for 20 years. When a New Orleans food writer read the ingredients, he discovered it was actually made with “wild fresh water crayfish.” Owner Saul Zabar told him crayfish are a distant cousin of lobster, the Maine Lobster Council disagreed, and now the deli sells “Seafare Salad” for $16.95 a pound. Just wait until Zabar finds out what “fresh water” means.

While at the Iowa State Fair today, Mitt Romney told a crowd that raising taxes on individuals was an option, but he opposed it. When some hecklers in the audience started shouting “Corporations! Corporations!” suggesting that corporations should be paying new taxes too, Romney replied, “Corporations are people, my friend.” It’s unclear whether the friend he was referring to was a corporation or a human, or whether Romney thinks partnerships are cyborgs, but he did say later that he’s pretty sure sole proprietorships are humanoid. Cue up Depeche Mode’s People are People now.