Air New Zealand is showing a new safety video on flights in the hope that people will pay closer attention because, well, it’s important, it could save your life, and you might enjoy seeing the flight attendants and pilot in the video because they aren’t wearing clothes. True their bodies are painted to look like they’re wearing clothes, but heck, use your imagination. Meanwhile, a man on a US Airways flight from Charlotte to L.A. must have thought it sounded like a good idea because he took off his clothes and refused to put them back on. The plane was diverted to Albuquerque where the man was arrested and charged with impersonating a flight attendant.

The Tasmanian Attorney-General claims to know what’s causing the mysterious crop circles in the country’s opium poppy fields—stoned wallabies. It seems the animals eat the poppies, get “high as a kite,” and hop around in circles. The Associated Press couldn’t get a copy of the brief the Attorney-General cited, but reportedly it says the wallabies also like to wear tie-dye T-shirts, have a penchant for black light Jimi Hendrix posters, and have been known to devour whole bags of Doritos and boxes of jelly-filled doughnuts in minutes.

A new documentary claims that the face on the Shroud of Turin isn’t, in fact, Jesus Christ, but rather a photographic self-portrait of Leonardo Da Vinci done 400 years before Kodachrome was invented (R.I.P.). Lillian Schwartz, of the School of Visual Arts in New York, used computer scans to discover that the face on the shroud has the same dimensions as Da Vinci. Researcher and author Lynn Picknett said: “It is spooky, it is jaw-dropping – it is the most exciting thing that has ever happened.” The eradication of polio, George Bush leaving office, and making it through the Y2K bug intact notwithstanding.